Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Halo Reach... I Think I'd Rather Snort Glue

Super glue at that. >:O

Anyways, with Monday came the dawn of the Halo Reach open Beta. Like a little Catholic school kid on the night before Christmas, I could not get a wink of sleep the night before. All the promises and hype of how AWESOME the beta would be, it was too much to bear.
Then came Monday.... And it continued.... I still waiting... Till after lunch. Then w00t w00t, beta's out! 1.15 gigs or so, easy 10 minute download and off I go! It was relatively fun at first, then the servers died from the onslaught of nubs bumrushing them. Monday ended in disapointment.

The next two days the servers were in a much more stable condition and gaming was once again possible. I had a blast playing in a stacked party with 7 other gaming buddies. But then myself and another ventured out on our owns to play some competition... And got matched up against parties of 6's repeatedly... which of course for a 4v4 game, that means 2 of the 6 opponents are on our team.... FAIL!
Now this wouldn't be too bad if 90% of the players weren't f***tard t**t children, but unfortunately they were and the two dumb s**ts that were on my team would spend the whole game chasing me and my buddy around spraying bullets at us. Amazingly, we still won a few such games, but that's cause we're just hard core like that. :P

One more gripe before I move on to why Reach fails. Trash talking pre-pubescent children. And angsty teens as well. Is the trash talking necessary? Let the fact you won be the trash talking, you don't have to run your mouth. If this is the only way you can get your rocks off, you're one sad pitiful individual.
Trash talking when you've got a stacked team of 6v2 is also about the most damn retarded thing ever. Seriously.
Its for stupid crap like this that I advocate the disciplining of children with the rod. Through pain comes obedience, and children these days don't get that learning experience. Fail society, fail.

Anyways, here are my reasons Halo Reach fails so far....

  • Slow Spartans

  • Low Jump Spartans

  • CoD imitation movement style

  • Uber frag grenades

  • Lack of straffing in “BR” battles due to low speed

  • More sensitive aim than H3, but slower turn around speed

  • Shields and health bar

  • AR + Beatdown no longer works... unless you AR forever and a day first

  • DRM shot spread blows

  • Needle Rifle too weak

  • Maps are a mix of too open and too cluttered.

  • Map and player movement speeds encourage camping

  • Proximity voice overpowered

  • Shield lock is a fail.

  • Crouching Invisible Spartans are annoying as piss

  • Switching between Bumper Jump and Default for Swat/Normal Games.

Now here's a short list of what I actually like about Reach.

  • Jump Packs are cool

  • Elites that roll around and dodge

  • Reticle bloom

  • Pro Slayer game type

  • No visible rank skill level system

  • Vote for map and game type as opposed to the veto system

  • Active Roster
  • Uber Halo 2 style Rocket Launcher

As you might notice, Reach doesn't have a whole lot going for it at the moment. The biggest factor that drives me away is that annoying children. I can't go in a play by myself and actually enjoy the game, its retarded. I have to come in with at least 3 friends of mine, which limits my ability to play during down time during working hours. Lame.


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